she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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