How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
