The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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