I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
