One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
