If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
