I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
