So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
