sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
