why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
