i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
