i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
