I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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