is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
