do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
