I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
