Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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