she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
