Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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