Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
