definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
