shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
