We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
