If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
