i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
