i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
ugly people sure do ruin things
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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