Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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