Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
