you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
