ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
