We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
as a side note pls kill me
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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