It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
