she looked like the bat from fern gully.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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