Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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