omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i already hear my dad disowning me
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
