No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
