i don't plan on having that self control this summer
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
