We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
