once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
