make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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