I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I think people are normalizing furries
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