just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
