I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
