She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
