i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
