What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
