i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
