When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Sext me about skeletons
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
