you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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