Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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